By The Hammer of Thor!

For summer reading one year in high school, we had to read The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller.  An autobiographical account of schizophrenia, I remember it being well-written and compelling.  If you know anything about schizophrenia, you know that it usually manifests in the late teens and early twenties.  That book instilled in me a completely irrational fear that I was a schizophrenic and didn't know it yet.  I only bring this up because I've also always been quite intuitive. Schizophrenia and Intuition could both be described by the following: "I hear voices in my head."  You can probably guess that, given my neuroses about having a freak case of schizophrenia, I haven't always been one to embrace talking about my intuition

 

Maybe it's the fact that I finally took a giant leap of faith by taking out $60k in student loans to go to school abroad for a year, or that I just spent a month in France, or that I finally feel like I'm making steady progress on my novel, but my intuition has been going crazy lately.  The best way I can describe it to others is that I'll just be sitting around, and a rather prophetic phrase will just come into my head regardless of whatever else I was thinking about, and I just know that it's true.  One of the nights I was in the mountains in France, I got "Better take a picture because it's all going to change."  This morning, while I was in bed eating dry Special K out of a box (not schizophrenic, but incurably weird), I got "this day is going to change your life."

 

Now, you might point out that both of these phrases are broad and can mean all manner of things.  So far, my day has included a very large caramel macchiato and sitting along Regent's Canal by CSM, acting super arty and writing my novel.  One of the barges was giving rides with the Easter bunny, so I got to see adult women in bunny and rooster costumes.  The bunny and I made eye contact and she smiled sheepishly.  It was pretty awesome.  There was also a barge of people who'd been drinking across the canal playing music loudly and singing along, all of which was interrupted by one of them repeatedly yelling, "By the hammer of Thor."  They might have been my life-changing experiences. I'll keep you posted.

 

Here's what I'm thinking: I expect my "life-changing" events to be static and magnificent and predictable because that's more in line with my cinematic imaginings.  The day is not over yet, so that could still be in the cards.  However, I think the more important message is that believing in my intuition, in my feelings, will change my life.  Besides, do you know how amazing it feels to march out the door believing that your dreams are about to come true?  Pretty fucking awesome (wearing red hi-tops helps).

 

So, it's Easter weekend, and thus resurrection and new life are relevant topics.  Here's a little bit of a spin: the miracle of Jesus' resurrection basically only confirmed his divinity...he already knew that he was the son of God.  Allow yourself to be reborn by acknowledging that you already know, deep down, your purpose in this life.  If you believe that today is going to change your life, it is.  If you believe that your dreams are achievable, they are.  They might even be dreams you didn't know you had, like seeing a woman in a rooster costume moor a boat while someone yells "By the Hammer of Thor."