Full disclosure: I'm a bit sleep-deprived, to the point where I'm slap-happy, but I am determined to write something, because I sure as shit can't sleep, so enjoy my descent into madness.
Earlier tonight, I watched Legally Blonde 2 on Netflix. The original Legally Blonde isn't available on Netflix, which brings me to my first point. Netflix used to have like all of the Law and Orders and Chappelle's Shows and Saturday Night Lives, and presumably, at one point, the first Legally Blonde. While I'm not about to cancel my subscription, because a) that would make me far too productive and b) RuPaul's Drag Race, but if there was one thing I could always count on to put me to sleep, it was the monotone conversation and 'duh-duh' of Law and Order. It used to be on in the middle of the night when I was trying to come down from all the coffee I'd drunk writing my thesis in college, and was followed by an infomercial for Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer. Both were calming and predictable, and I could learn how to make muffins and shit with the fruit that had had all the juice squeezed from it while I was drifting off to sleep. So, thanks for fucking that up, Netflix.
I've probably written a blog before about how much I love Legally Blonde, and, more specifically the character of Elle Woods. Because I can't leave well enough alone, I originally intended to write a blog about why I loved the character so much given my feminist tendencies. Then I thought, "Who gives a fuck?" That's what insomnia does to me, you see. Things that might once have seemed pseudo-intellectual and interesting are dismissed as I angrily eat Ryvita crisp bread and wish I could be as unflappable and cheerful as fucking Elle Woods. Here's the one point I will make. Elle Woods does not live next to obnoxiously loud train tracks that, for some God-forsaken reason, have trains traveling on them every five minutes even though it's nearly two in the morning. Just so you catch my drift, and because I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind, I just took video of a train passing my window. This is one of the quieter ones.
Such events and grating sounds always make me wish that I lived in a world where people didn't know cigarettes were harmful yet and I could chain smoke and drink hard liquor in the hotel and silk nightgown Ginger Rogers is in in Top Hat. Thoughts of these simpler times make me think of Nancy Sinatra, which makes me think of how there are so many old songs with borderline disturbing lyrics. And with that, some choice quotes from said songs, and a few links to youtube, I'll conclude this post.
"You Only Live Twice" by Nancy Sinatra
"And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on,
Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone."
"Young Girl," by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
"And though you know it's wrong to be alone with me, That come -on look is in your eyes."
"He Hit Me (and it Felt Like a Kiss)" by The Crystals
....the whole song...
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, to restore your faith in humanity, George Harrison...I dare you to listen to this song and not smile.
Thus endeth the crazed ranting :)